If you are grieving and in need of a New Year’s Resolution I’d recommend choosing a diversion. Something that gives you a sense of control and accomplishment. Going back to work, planning a garden, starting a new exercise routine. Anything that will take your mind off your pain and give it a rest, even for a little while, is part of good grief. While one must go through the pain in order to heal it is also necessary to channel a more positive energy, even for an hour, in order to not be consumed and exhausted by it. Sometimes you just need a break.
Besides dealing with the pain what is also difficult is dealing with the separation from the person you loved. Even though my son was not living at home I did not really feel his absence. Today, technology keeps us soooooo connected. Skype, facetime, cell phones, instant messages…we are all but a click apart. William was such an integral part of my life and now I must learn how to be in a world without him. I am glad the holidays are over. The reality that he will never be home for Christmas or Easter or his birthday again is slowly sinking in. It gives a whole new meaning to the idea of separation anxiety.
By now you all know that my idea of a diversion is getting into the kitchen and banging a few pots and pans together or in this recipe breaking and separating some eggs. When Caitlin and Sam asked for help in making a lemon meringue pie I was all in. This recipe was a winner in the www.betterrecipes.com contest. Meyer lemons are in season, but if you can’t find them substitute a mixture of fresh tangerine and regular lemon juice.
As I watched Caitlin and Sam making this pie together I couldn’t help but be happy. I thought about how separating the eggs into yolks and whites completely transforms the egg into something new and different. Kind of like what I need to do with myself.