Last Updated on June 20, 2024 by Lisa Keys

Spring brings hope, grace and renewal. It also brings asparagus. Simple steamed asparagus is among my favorite vegetables, but more on that after this grief lesson.

How long can one stand in the darkness of grief? You stand there until you can recognize your pain, put a name on it and decide you can’t endure it any longer. You rise. Then, you take one step forward and then another and another until you are standing in the light.

It is spring. The days are getting longer. More light. However, I have a love-hate relationship with this time of year. My son, the source of my greatest joy was born in April. Sadly, he is also the source of my greatest sorrow. He died in a tragic motor vehicle accident just a few days shy of his 23^rd birthday. What gets me through the season? Gardening.

Gardening is Therapeutic

What makes creating a garden so therapeutic? A day spent in the yard is typically hard work that involves getting sweaty and now (at my age) a little achy. What is so great about clearing weeds or worse picking off icky intrusive insects and dropping them into a glass of soapy water? Why do I choose to dig my hands into the dirt rather than a soothing soak at the salon followed by choosing a trendy shade of nail color?

Engaging with nature holds a profound healing power. Similar to the processes of cooking and baking, gardening combines elements of science, art and dare I say, magic. The yield is a sensory feast for sight, scent and taste.

My grandchild holding an extra large harvested zucchini.

Each instance of a seed sprouting into a beautifully fragrant flower to arrange or a delectable ingredient igniting culinary inspiration is a marvel. The garden serves as a personal pantry, surpassing any grocery store with its superior freshness and fragrance. Harvesting dinner straight from the soil, despite the effort of scrubbing dirt from beneath my unpolished nails, is undeniably rewarding.

The garden also brings me back to simpler times with my kids. The lure of the internet and video games wasn’t there for them. Playing in the dirt or in the woods is where they'd be. Today, as I see my daughter designing her own garden and planting seed along with my grandchildren, I am ever so grateful that they find comfort among the beauty only Mother Nature can give.

Me and my granddaughter in peony garden.

As we continue to share and grow our spaces together there is nothing better than the joy in their voices or the stars in their eyes as they, too, marvel over fields of flowers or the tasty fragrance of fresh picked herbs. This is what makes gardening therapeutic. Are you navigating the complex terrain of grief and finding solace in the garden?

Each spring plants rise from the darkness. In a single seed you can find hope, grace and renewal. Are you ready to get down and dirty? Plant some seeds.

How to nurture hope

Planting seeds cultivates and nurtures hope. To hope is to look forward into the unknown and believe that positive things await, despite a lack of concrete evidence. Do you believe the planted seed will emerge as a beautiful flower or nourishing vegetable? Then, you have hope. In challenging circumstances, hope is what we need most. It is an emotion that fuels a positive outlook despite adversity. It provides the motivation to keep going and the optimism that tomorrow will be a brighter day.

Hope, however, must be balanced with the reality of the situation. It is important to acknowledge that moving through your grief takes hard work and care much like growing the seed. You will experience days in the weeds, but with hope you will persevere.

Acknowledge there will be difficulties. After all you are only human. This is where grace comes in. When the going gets tough treat yourself with kindness, compassion and understanding. Accept your strengths and weaknesses. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Prioritize your well-being by engaging in activities that nourish your spirit. Share your struggles and cultivate gratitude for all the good (past and present) in your life. No pressure. Use the setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.

Renewal. It is what is happening to you. You are stronger and more resilient than you ever thought you could be. New life from the darkness of grief. With hope and grace, you are making a comeback. The grief is still there and you recognize it always will be. You are standing in the light.

Simple steamed asparagus as a side dish for fish.

Let's spring forward with the first vegetable I can harvest from my garden. It is a perennial, requires little care and we eat it all through April and May. Did you guess asparagus? I love it roasted, grilled and even baked into a quiche, but simple steamed asparagus is my favorite. Serve warm or chilled it's a blank canvas for almost any topping. Steaming is one of the best methods for cooking asparagus as it helps retain its vibrant color, crisp texture, and nutritional value. Enjoy your freshly steamed asparagus!

How to make simple steamed asparagus

Trim the asparagus: Start by washing the asparagus under cold water to remove any dirt or debris. Then, trim off the tough woody ends of the asparagus spears. You can do this by holding each spear at its base and bending it until it snaps naturally. The spear will break at the point where the tough part ends. Alternatively, you can cut off about an inch from the bottom of each spear or retain the maximum amount of spear by trimming the sides with a vegetable peeler.
Prepare the steamer: Fill a pot with a few inches of water, making sure the water level is below the bottom of the steamer basket when it's placed inside. Bring the water to a boil over medium-high heat.
Steam the asparagus: Once the water is boiling, place the trimmed asparagus spears in the steamer basket. Arrange them in a single layer to ensure even cooking. If you have a large batch of asparagus, you may need to steam them in batches.
Season (optional): If desired, you can sprinkle a little salt over the asparagus before steaming for added flavor.
Steam the asparagus: Carefully place the steamer basket with the asparagus over the boiling water in the pot. Cover the pot with a lid to trap the steam. Steam the asparagus for about 3 to 5 minutes, depending on the thickness of the spears. They should be tender but still crisp.
Check for doneness: To check if the asparagus is done, insert a fork or the tip of a knife into one of the spears. It should easily pierce through, but the asparagus should not be mushy.
Serve: Once the asparagus is cooked to your desired level of tenderness, remove the steamer basket from the pot and transfer the asparagus to a serving dish. Serve hot as a side dish or with your favorite sauce or seasoning.