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Good Grief a Beach House

heart shaped embossed on a rock surrounded by crushed seashells bought us a beach house
beach house heart rock

Good grief a beach house. It’s been 3,079 days since I lost my son and two years to the day, I bought a beach house because of a rock. Yes, you read it. A rock, but not just any rock. Seriously, grief makes one do crazy, impulsive things that you never thought you would or could. It’s true. 

heart shapes: rock, spoons and ceramic tile at the beach house

If you follow the blog, I suspect you already know the effect the rock had on me. However, for the others, let me explain. I believe my son died before he was ready to go and with that keeps a presence here. There wasn’t a day that went by that he did not end a conversation with an “I love you” and thus he continues to show himself to me with an occasional heart sign. I call these moments “whoosh” and along with seeing a heart I feel a squeeze in my chest as if he is hugging me.

red heart shaped pottery

So, it was two years ago while on a vacation I happened upon a house just a few doors down from our rental that was for sale. Just for fun, my husband and I took a walk through the house never intending to buy it, but as we were leaving the property there was this rock nestled in the crushed shells of the driveway. I gravitated to it and my husband immediately said, “he wants us to buy this house.” The rest is history.

my son on a boat at the beach
last time I saw him alive and well

The beach house has been a large part of the grief journey not only for me, but for my husband. The property is a stunning, peaceful wildlife refuge on one side with gentle ocean waves on the other. Surrounded by nature it’s a birder’s paradise with nesting osprey, herons and eagles plus all the sea creatures one can imagine.

There is also an 8-point buck that hangs out. He is here.

granddaughter at sunset

Swayed by emotion? Trust your instincts. Find your refuge.

my husband on a boat off the coast of the beach house

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lou

    September 20, 2019 at 8:45 am

    We’ll figure out a time to visit!

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 9:09 am

      The door is always open. We will figure out a time and get it on the calendar

      Reply
  2. Mary R Shivers

    September 20, 2019 at 9:02 am

    Lisa, as I read your post through tear-filled eyes, once again you made my day. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 9:07 am

      Thank you for your heart-felt comment. Have you ever acted on impulse? Kind of crazy, huh!

      Reply
  3. rainbowwayfarms

    September 20, 2019 at 10:43 am

    I love this and I love you!!! So beautiful your find that day and even more beautiful that you heard Will’s message loud and clear. What an incredible journey that house has been for you and your family already. So much more to come and to enjoy! ♥️

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 1:42 pm

      That boy always made sure I heard his message whether I liked it or not 🙂 I wish you could have known him.

      Reply
  4. Catherine Wilkinson

    September 20, 2019 at 11:11 am

    The most beautiful blog post I’ve ever read. God bless you and I love you.

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 1:45 pm

      Huge compliment dear friend. I think about you all the time. I so appreciate you checking in here today. I wish you could have known my son. We were so close! I love you, too, dear sister from another mother.

      Reply
  5. Edie Page

    September 20, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    I love this! And I love that you are enjoying your beach home!

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 1:41 pm

      Took me a long time to write it <3

      Reply
  6. Marcie M Ziskind

    September 20, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    Hi Lisa, I’m so happy that you have found your place for peace and strength among the brokenness. Thank you for sharing. XOXO

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      Such a crazy impulse, but it has been worth it. Just meant to be.

      Reply
  7. Krista

    September 20, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    I love this!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I think impulse is actually a gentle (or not so gentle) nudge from them to keep going

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 4:18 pm

      Oh I love your view and I could not agree more!

      Reply
  8. Carol Walsh

    September 20, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    Just love this story so much…from the first time you told me soon after you bought the house to reading it again here in the blog. That boy is with you no doubt in my mind! <3

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 20, 2019 at 8:23 pm

      He is, right? It’s just crazy sauce how he shows himself and for Bill to believe it, too.

      Reply
  9. Donna Tillman Bardocz

    September 20, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    I love this post and so believe in the magic moments when your loved one is relaying a message to you! What a great moment to have found that rock! What great memories you all will make there at that beach home! It sounds perfect!

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 21, 2019 at 7:22 am

      I hope you are having some magic moments, too <3

      Reply
  10. Greg Broyles

    September 25, 2019 at 10:42 am

    That’s beautiful Lisa.
    gb

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 25, 2019 at 11:00 am

      All we can ever ask for along with peace in our hearts and minds

      Reply
  11. Wendy Doremus

    September 25, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    So amazed to hear how Will keeps rocking your world, in a good way. We keep him and you all in our hearts.
    Love,
    Wendy

    Reply
    • Lisa

      September 28, 2019 at 5:32 pm

      Thank you for remembering him. It no longer amazes me especially when I learn things like you finding the piece of Squibb sea glass during the time your daughter is getting married. For sure your dad was not ready to go either.

      Reply

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