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Home » Recipes » dessert

Good Food For Thought What Not To Say

Published: Apr 1, 2014 · Modified: Jul 4, 2024 by Lisa Keys · This post may contain affiliate links · 10 Comments

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Last Updated on July 4, 2024 by Lisa Keys

Lemon thyme madeleines are good food for thought.

Good Food for thought

Does your mouth ever work faster than your brain? The words cause “a stir”. Too late to take them back the inevitable pain and confusion is regrettable. It takes courage to own the wrong and recognize the only appropriate response: “I’m sorry”. Addressing someone who is in mourning is always difficult. The right words are often hard to come by. The truth is there is nothing you can say to make the bereaved person feel better. When in doubt about what to say a simple, heartfelt, “I’m sorry for your pain” is all that’s needed along with the touch of a hand or a hug….make that a big bear hug, please!

Me and my son.

WHAT NOT TO SAY.

  • He’s in a better place   (nope–alive and well next to me is a much better place)
  • Heaven needed an angel  (nope–I need him/her here)
  • Be brave  (nope–I need to experience this pain if I am ever going to be normal again)
  • God has a plan  (nope–we had plans, too)
Lemon thyme madeleines on cooling rack with baking pan.

Here is more good food for thought. Madeleines. Don't call them cookies. In certain company you will regret calling them that as they really are a little bite of heavenly buttery cake. They can be sweet or savory. Lemons are very inexpensive this time of year and a sure sign of spring. A staple in my kitchen, lemon is one of my favorite flavors. Fresh and tart it adds balance to any dish and wakes up your taste buds. Next time you want to comfort someone set out a plate of these lemon thyme madeleines. You won't have to say a word.

Lemon thyme madeleines.

Lemon Thyme Madeleines

Lisa Keys
A most delicious cookie.
5 from 1 vote
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Prep Time 15 minutes mins
Cook Time 8 minutes mins
Total Time 23 minutes mins
Course cookies
Cuisine French
Servings 12 large cookies or 24 small
Calories 80 kcal

Equipment

  • 1 Madelaine pan

Ingredients
  

  • ½ cup cake flour*
  • ¼ teaspoon salt use fine sea salt or table salt not kosher salt
  • ⅛- teaspoon cream of tartar
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • ½ tablespoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
  • Grated zest of ½ lemon
  • 3 tablespoons unsalted butter softened
  • ¼ cup sour cream
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
  • ¼ teaspoon lemon extract
  • Powdered sugar

Instructions
 

  • Heat oven 375F. Spray the molds of a 12 to 20-piece madeleine pan with no-stick baking spray.
  • In small bowl, whisk flour, salt and cream of tartar; set aside.
  • In food processor, pulse sugar, thyme and zest until uniform.
  • In a medium bowl, beat butter and sour cream until light and creamy.
  • Add sugar mixture; blend well. Add eggs, lemon juice and extract; blend well.
  • Add flour mixture; mix just until blended.
  • Spoon batter into molds until even with rims.
  • Bake 8 to 10 minutes for small madeleines (10 to 12 minutes for larger ones) or until edges are just golden brown and cakes feel firm when touched with the tip of your finger.
  • Immediately invert madeleines on to a cooling rack.
  • Cool madeleines completely before dusting with powdered sugar. 

Notes

* To make cake flour: measure out ½ cup of all-purpose flour then remove 1 tablespoon of flour from that half cup and return it to the flour sack. Add 1 tablespoon of cornstarch to your measured flour, whisk and presto you now have cake flour

Nutrition

Serving: 1cookieCalories: 80kcalCarbohydrates: 8gProtein: 2gFat: 5gSaturated Fat: 3gPolyunsaturated Fat: 0.3gMonounsaturated Fat: 1gTrans Fat: 0.1gCholesterol: 38mgSodium: 61mgPotassium: 28mgFiber: 0.1gSugar: 4gVitamin A: 157IUVitamin C: 0.2mgCalcium: 11mgIron: 0.2mg
Keyword dessert, lemon thyme, madeleines, mini dessert, summer sweets, tea cake
Tried this recipe?Let us know how it was!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

    5 from 1 vote

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    Recipe Rating





  1. Louis Matino (@LouMatino)

    April 01, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    Good advice!

    Reply
    • lisakeys64

      April 01, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      thank you

      Reply
  2. danielle

    April 01, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    5 stars
    These are gorgeous and so are you (and your advice)!! I never know what to say to someone grieving, maybe the best thing for me is to just give them a big hug!!! Sending you some...

    Reply
    • lisakeys64

      April 01, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Can't go wrong with hugs! I will need many this month.

      Reply
  3. Cathy

    April 01, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Wow! T
    hat is a beautiful post, Lisa. I always thought "Im sorry" was never enough. So no doubt some of those clichés you mention have passed my lips. Now I know to keep it simple. Hugs go without saying. Thinking of you with Peace and Hope...

    Reply
    • lisakeys64

      April 01, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Thanks for the compliments. It is just to hard to know what is in the mind of the griever so a simple "sorry" is the best bet.

      Reply
  4. Rich Beebe

    April 01, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    After Meghan's death, the words that ironically carried the most meaning and emotional weight with me was the simple phrase (one I heard over and over, always accompanied by a blessed embrace): "There are no words." Indeed ... they are simply but profoundly true. How else to describe the indescribable?

    "How are you doing?" was the one question I initially stumbled over when I tried to come up with a response ... Did the person asking really want or need to hear the full truth? Of course not. Eventually I came up with the simple but true, "I am hanging in there."

    I recently had a conversation with someone who hadn't sent a note to someone in the first few weeks following a child's death and felt it was too late to do so. I told her it was never too late, that the parents' grief doesn't end, and that a card with a simple message of "I am still thinking of you" can do wonders, especially if the parents are aware that the rest of the world is beginning to move on, but that they themselves are still grieving.

    A parent's grief evolves, but it does not end; there is no expiration date on the loss of a child.

    Reply
    • lisakeys64

      April 01, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      Great words of wisdom from one who knows. I absolutely agree with the very awkward "how are you doing" or "how are you holding up"---no one wants the real answer

      Thanks for posting today. You have enhanced the information 100%!

      Reply
  5. riverdaze

    April 01, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    I recently read a story about a woman who worked with a young mother who had tragically lost a son. She came to the door one day and hugged the mom uttering the words "I am so sorry. I thought you might need a walk and I'd like to know more about him, what was he like?"
    This struck me as a lovely gesture that embraced the life of the child rather than the loss.

    Reply
  6. lisakeys64

    April 01, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    Thank you, Riverdaze, for this most important post. I love nothing more than the company of someone who wants to learn more about my son. It is the most loving gesture.

    Reply

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Me and my son.

Hi, I'm Lisa! Welcome to Good Grief Cook.

I am serving up award winning recipes and lessons in grief.

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