Last Updated on December 11, 2024 by Lisa Keys
When lemon ginger cookies spiraled out of control they turned into a delicious rugelach. The lemony filling basically melted into the warm gingerbread and collapsed its shape. While I had hoped for a perfectly spiraled cookie I ended up with a deliciously tender rugelach with a crunchy sugar coating. I guess some call this cookie rugelah, but I just call it a happy accident.
It's been 4986 days since I lost my son. Like most grievers I tend to spiral a bit during the holidays. While I love Thanksgiving William loved Christmas. I simply miss the joy he would bring to the party. I wrote the following as a way to remind myself to just breathe. Maybe it will help you, too.
When life suddenly takes a sharp turn, like an unexpected loss or the sudden onset of a life-threatening illness, how do we react? It’s easy to feel like we’re spiraling, but let’s not spin out of control. Take a deep breath.
In this life, pain is inevitable, but suffering is not. What does that mean? First, it means acknowledging that adversity will occur. Unless you live under an exceptionally lucky star, negative experiences are bound to come your way. Forget the toxic positivity that insists everything will always be fine. Loss, illness, and pain are part of the human experience. They’re unwelcome, but eventually your time will come.
Second, it means that you have the power to choose how to respond to adversity. While pain is a physical sensation, suffering is a state of mind. How will you respond to pain? Will you let the experience overwhelm you, or will you focus on resilience and acceptance instead?
Think about how you want to use your energy. Don’t waste it trying to change the past. No matter how badly you want it, you can’t fix what has already happened. Furthermore, don’t waste your time panicking about the future. Focus on your present thoughts and emotions. Channel that energy into hope. In doing so, you’ll find that you’re ready to face the storm. And hopefully, you’ll have support along the way.
Speaking of support, let’s consider what it means to help others in their suffering. How do you offer support when someone is drowning? Are you the type of person who jumps right in to share in the struggle? Or do you stand on the sidelines, tossing a life preserver? Perhaps you’re someone who simply can’t bear to watch the struggle and walk away. Which one are you? And which one do you want to be?
Think about it. Ask yourself: How do I walk with someone when I know I can’t fix it? How do I hold someone up when they can’t bear the weight? The answer is simple: just be with them. Sit quietly. Allow them to cry, to feel angry, to express their pain. Become an angel in this world. Enter the heart of their experience and pain and be a companion. It’s not glamorous. Often, it feels awkward. But your willingness to face their suffering is a beautiful thing.
And there’s something else that’s beautiful: our profound differences. We are left, we are right, and everything in between. Yet, we all share the same human experiences—love, loss, joy, and hardship. It’s easy to find beauty in life when everything is going well, but there is beauty even in the hardest of times.
Adversity reveals our true character. It’s during these moments that we discover the depth of our resilience, our capacity to persevere, and how we connect with others in ways that transcend our differences. When someone is suffering, our ability to offer genuine compassion becomes a testament to our humanity.
The act of simply being with someone during their suffering might seem basic, but it is one of the most profound gifts we can give. We live in a world where many people are looking for quick fixes, a world that often encourages us to solve problems and move on. But sometimes, the most healing thing we can offer is our presence. When someone is grieving or in pain, what they need most is not for someone to offer solutions, but for someone who understands. Being present with someone in their pain creates a space where healing can begin—not because the pain disappears, but because it is acknowledged and shared.
It’s easy to feel helpless when someone we love is suffering. We may desperately want to make things better, but some struggles are beyond our power to fix. The beauty, however, lies in the shared experience of suffering. By offering a listening ear, a hand to hold, or just sitting in silence, we communicate something powerful: You are not alone. We often underestimate the impact of simply being there, but that compassionate presence can serve as an anchor, helping the other person regain their balance.
Offering support not only helps the person in need, but it also allows us to grow. By stepping outside our comfort zones and sitting with someone else’s pain, we expand our own emotional capacity. We learn empathy, patience, and acceptance. We come to understand that while we may not always be able to alleviate another’s suffering, we can stand by them, offering comfort in ways that words alone cannot.
In difficult times—whether we’re struggling ourselves or helping others through their challenges—we must remember that adversity, though painful, is not the end of the road. It’s simply part of the human condition. While we can’t always control the circumstances we face, we can control how we respond to them. Our choices to embrace resilience, offer compassion, and walk together through suffering can transform pain into strength, connection, and even beauty. Life may seem like it’s spinning out of control at times, but through acceptance and mutual support, we can regain our balance, one step at a time, together.
Okay, I know. That was a lot to read before getting to these lemon ginger cookies. Thank you for your patience. You are also going to need patience to make these cookies as there is a lot of chill time involved, but the flavor and texture are so good it's worth it. However, if you need something quick and delicious try this spiraled cookie. Christmas cookies platter here we come.
How to make lemon ginger cookies
Start by creaming butter, sugar and molasses. Add egg and combined dry ingredients. Then, divide dough into 3 portions. Shape into a rectangle and chill.
Next, make the filling by melting white chocolate and butter over a double boiler. Add remaining ingredients and emulsify using an immersion blender.
Roll each portion of cookie dough into a large rectangle. Spread a thin layer of filling over the dough leaving an edge. Roll, jelly roll style, into a tight coil. Brush with egg white and coat with sugar. Finally, freeze until firm, slice and bake.
Lemon ginger cookies spiraled out of my control, but turned into something beautiful. That's life. Take a deep breath.
Lemon Ginger Cookies (rugelach)
Equipment
- 1 hand held immersion blender
Ingredients
Cookie dough
- ½ cup unsalted butter room temperature
- ½ cup packed light brown sugar
- ¼ cup molasses
- 1 egg
- 2 ¾ cup all-purpose flour
- 1 ½ teaspoons ground ginger
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- ½ teaspoon fine sea salt
- ⅛ teaspoon nutmeg
- ⅛ teaspoon ground cloves
- Demerara sugar
Filling
- 1 (4 oz.) bar white chocolate broken into pieces
- 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 2 tablespoons powdered sugar
- 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
- 1 egg separated
- 1 lemon finely grated zest plus 1 tablespoon juice
- 1 teaspoon lemon extract
- ⅛ teaspoon fine sea salt
Instructions
Cookie Dough
- In stand mixer fitter with paddle, beat butter and brown sugar at medium speed until well combined. Add the molasses and egg and beat until well blended. In another bowl, whisk flour, spices and salt until well blended. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and beat at low speed just until combined. Divide dough into 3 equal portions. Roll each into a 9-inch log. Place each log on a large piece of plastic wrap and press into an 11x 3-inch rectangle. Wrap in plastic and smooth out air pockets with a rolling pin. Place packets on a cookie sheet and transfer to the refrigerator. Chill dough for 30 to 60 minutes.
Filling
- Prepare the filling. Melt white chocolate and butter in a double boiler, stirring occasionally. Remove bowl from heat and let cool until just warm. Add powdered sugar, flour, 1 egg yolk, lemon zest, lemon juice, lemon extract and salt. Using a handheld immersion blender, emulsify mixture until it is smooth and thickened. Set aside.
Assemble Cookies
- On a lightly floured parchment covered surface, roll 1 portion of unwrapped chill dough into a 15 x 6-inch rectangle. Spread ⅓rd of the filling over the dough leaving a ½-inch wide strip on one long side at the top. Starting at the bottom long side, roll the dough into a tight coil, jelly roll style. Use the parchment to help you lift and roll the dough. Transfer the log, seam side down to the baking sheet. Repeat with remaining dough and filling. Chill 30 minutes.
- Beat the egg white with a fork until loose. Brush dough logs with a thin layer of egg white and roll in demerara sugar to coat all sides. Place logs in the freezer for 30 minutes or until very firm. Heat oven to 350F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Slice each log into 12 equal pieces and place on baking sheets 2-inches apart. Bake 18 minutes or until just golden brown. If any filling spills out and over browns just trim away with a sharp knife while still warm. Cool on wire rack. Makes 36 cookies.
Bill Keys
Crunch and spice
Lisa Keys
and a little lemon zing
Carol Walsh
God Lisa, so beautifully written (as usual!). When my 15 year old brother was tragically killed (two weeks before I was born), I remember my dad saying how everyone just stayed away after the initial shock, grief, wake and funeral. I guess friends and family wanted to give my parents time and space to grieve but he always talked about how badly he needed people to be around them. It wasn't because people weren't grieving themselves or that they didn't care about my family, it's just how things were back then. There were no support groups, people just dealt with it in their own quiet way. Think about the WWII vets and all they went through. They seldom spoke of their experience overseas, it was kept under wraps. Today it's a different story. Bottom line, people need people. Like you said, even to just sit in silence is enough...just being there is enough. This post hit home for me Lisa, in thinking about William but also what my parents and brothers went through as well.
Lisa Keys
Thanks for sharing your story here. I'm glad this resonated with you.