Following in his light
Once the news got out the food started arriving almost immediately and in enormous amounts. Neighbors arrived with hot coffee and bagels. The local grocers hand delivered pans of baked ziti, large trays of deli meats and cheeses all rolled into neat little packages. There were decorative trays of salads with tomato roses and steaming aluminum containers of chicken marsala. Next came those beautiful edible arrangements of fruit and even the florist got involved showing up with an herb garden.
Finally, let’s not leave out the UPS man and his near daily visit over the next month carrying boxes of cinnamon scented coffee cakes, buttery cookies and more gourmet gift baskets of goodies than can be counted. It was an amazing outpouring of love and sympathy from family and friends, but I could not eat a single bite. In fact, in the first week, after the tragic news was delivered, I lost 11 pounds. I suddenly lost my child. Shocked and confused, I had absolutely no appetite. So, I wondered what was the deal with all this food? How could anyone think I could eat at a time like this? Chef Art Smith helped me understand. In his book, Back To The Table The Reunion of Food and Family, he sums it up nicely:
Food As Love
Few of us think of food only in times of celebration.
We also think of it in times of sadness and need.
Cooking for others is a way to extend your heart.
It has been 2 ½ years since I lost my son. I have vowed to follow in his light, to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death and with this blog step out of my comfort zone much like he did throughout his life at home and in the military. He encourages me to write about the sad experience of losing one of my life’s most precious gifts. From my heart to yours enjoy this recipe inspired by my sweet William.
Thanks to my friend Debbie Vanni for the Art Smith Book from her culinary cellar.
PrintInspired and Spirited Chocolate Chip Cookies
- Total Time: 33 minutes
- Yield: 3 dozen 1x
Description
thin and crispy cookie
Ingredients
2¼ c. unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
12 Tbs. (1½ sticks / 6 oz.) unsalted butter, at room temp.
1 c. firmly packed dark brown sugar
½ c. granulated sugar
1 Tbs. light corn syrup
1 large egg, at room temp.
1 large egg yolk, at room temp.
2 tablespoons good bourbon or whiskey (William liked Jack Daniels)
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 (12 oz) bag Ghirardelli double chocolate bittersweet chips
Instructions
- Heat oven to 325° F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper.
- Whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl.
- In a large bowl, cream butter, both sugars and corn syrup on high. Beat in egg, egg yolk, bourbon and vanilla. Reduce speed to low and mix the flour mixture in gradually until just combined.
- Stir in chocolate chips.
- Drop onto prepared sheets in 2 tablespoon (1 oz.) cookie scoops, leaving 2-inches between each cookie.
- Bake until cookies are lightly browned on the edges (rotating pans halfway through if baking two at once), 18 to 20 minutes.
- Let cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to finish cooling.
Notes
Once you've scooped the dough into balls, you can freeze them like this on the trays. Transfer the frozen balls to a freezer-safe zippered bag for up to 1 month. Do not thaw before baking.
- Prep Time: 15 minutes
- Cook Time: 18 minutes
- Category: cookies
- Method: baking
- Cuisine: American
Keywords: chocolate chip, courage, grief, dessert, snack, inspired, spirited
Cathy Rapoza Olsen
Peace and Hope...
lisakeys64
Important for all mother's like me to know that peace in our hearts will come and that there is hope for joy again
Daryl
Beautiful post for a beautiful man. Love you
lisakeys64
So happy you were able to know him
Mary Edwards
What a lovely sentiment and what an emotion evoking picture of the two of you - the love shines through so clearly even though I'm looking at it through teary eyes.
lisakeys64
Mary that photo was taken soon after my son got home from his deployment in Afghanistan. I was so grateful to have him safely home.
vcallaghan
Just beautiful, Lisa.
lisakeys64
thank you; you are one of the best moms I know
Karen Harris
Thanks for sharing this with us Lisa. I agree, preparing food for someone just says things that words cannot. It probably helps the one preparing it more than the recipient. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet, beautiful son.
lisakeys64
Thank you Karen. You totally get it!
Renee Vaillancourt
Such a beautiful idea <3 this is simply amazing... can't wait to try them! I will keep this in my recipe box forever, thank you!
lisakeys64
Thank you Renee. Anything that you can do to celebrate William is very much appreciated.
Sara Poskas
Love you! And I know what you mean about the food: we had beautiful meals sent here after the accident, and I was in such a shaken place, I lost 10 lbs. Fortunately, with great effort, I started getting my appetite back. I plan to make these cookies with Isabelle (she will eat them, but I am dairy and egg free). Sending you love and I so enjoyed this... thank you! (I also enjoy your messages on Caring Bridge). 🙂
lisakeys64
Sara-these are the cookies I left in your mailbox that day I visited Westover. For Iz you can substitute 2 teaspoons of vanilla for the bourbon to make it more child friendly. The best thing about having so much food during that time was that I was able to feed so many visitors. We had over 600 people at William's wake and funeral service and many came by the house. I am so very grateful that Iz and Pete are making such positive progress since that horrendous accident.
Sara Poskas
xox
Haley McBride
What a wonderful idea. Will would be so proud of you. I will be making these cookies in my new kitchen, while thinking of my cherished memories!! So much love <3
lisakeys64
Awe--thanks, Haley. I think he would be happy and proud that I am trying to snap out of it. I hope you like the cookies.
Laureen
Lisa--I am so happy that you are blogging. Can't wait to read more! Inspiring and courageous! I love that combination!
lisakeys64
"Inspiring and courageous"---that's my son and daughter in a nutshell! I find you to be the same.
Danielle @ the Growing Foodie
I love Jack Daniels too - I will have to try them! Thinking about you today and always of course...glad you started this! I find blogging cathartic...I hope you do too.
lisakeys64
Thanks my sweet Danielle! I will eventually figure out the whole blog-roll thing so we will be linked forever.
Tracy
Great job Lisa. I look forward to more posts. You are such an amazing person.
lisakeys64
Thank you! I am amazed I got this up and running myself. Hope to share lots of stories and recipes.
abby
Sweet William indeed... I look forward to every post Lisa!
lisakeys64
Very sweet unless he was on the Taft lacrosse field
abby
HAHAHAHA! He was a force on and off the field! and so wonderful and generous to Alex. I will think of him every time I make these cookies.
Susan Bickta
What a wonderful tribute to your cherished son. I'm sure he would be so very proud of you and this path you are taking.......
lisakeys64
Thank you Susan. I think he would be proud, too.
Ann
Your blog is a beautiful tribute to a dear, loving and wonderful young man. He lives forever in the hearts of many...especially mine. Thanks for sharing the recipe for these incredibly delicious cookies! Love you 😉
lisakeys64
William loved nothing more than having dinner at the Panetta's especially when it came to chicken parmigiana! You are also the best cookie baker in the world and we will ever be grateful for the basket full of cookies you made for his homecoming. <3
peter [email protected]
How come Your brother did
not get any samples ?
lisakeys64
I will make them for your birthday. These are the same cookies we had at Caitlin and Sam's wedding. I baked over 600 of them for that joyful occasion.
Louis Matino (@LouMatino)
Nice job with GoodGriefCook.com - a big step forward so you and others can continue healing.
lisakeys64
Thanks for being one of my biggest cheerleaders!
Wendy Doremus
Lisa, your talents continue to amaze me. Write on! And of course, keep on cooking, too.
Will is smiling down on you and is proud of you.
Hugs to you and your family, my friend.
love,
Wendy
lisakeys64
Thanks my dear sweet friend for your encouragement. I am glad you knew my William.
lisakeys64
I read through your magazine early this morning and was delighted to see that you "Willed it". Thank you so much and very happy you like the cookies. Your on-line magazine is beautiful and innovative and I am so very proud to be included. Thanks.