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How to Explain Grief to a 6-year-old

Grief is the price we pay for love ~Queen Elizabeth

How to explain grief to a 6 year old.

Not long ago my 6-year-old grand-daughter was scrolling through the photos on my phone. This one caught her eye and she had questions.

Me and my son's friend.

Annabelle: “Kiki are you crying in this picture?” 

Me: “Yes”

Annabelle: “Why are you crying?”

Is this a teachable moment? Can I prepare her for some day having grief in her life? How to explain grief, this natural occurrence in life, to a 6-year-old?  I thought long and hard before answering and in those moments recalled how much Annabelle loves to do jigsaw puzzles. It has always been a fun thing for us to do together. We like challenging puzzles that can take us a while to finish. Here is my Intro to Grief 101class.

Me: “I am crying both happy and sad tears. The boy in the photo is a friend of my son’s and I was happy to meet him for the first time.”

Annabelle: “You mean your son who died?”

Me: “Yes. I get sad some times when I am thinking of him. You know how we like to do puzzles? How would you feel if we spent a really long time putting a puzzle together only to get to the end and find a piece missing?”

Annabelle: “Oh, Kiki that would be bad.”

Me: “Right. Well, it’s like my heart is made up of puzzle pieces. Each piece to my heart is someone I love. But because he died there is a piece that is missing. That is what makes me feel bad and cry. I miss him so much. He would have loved doing puzzles with you.”

Annabelle: “I know. Let’s do the llama puzzle.”

Annabelle and me How to explain grief.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Rich Beebe

    October 9, 2022 at 1:14 pm

    A beautiful way of explaining loss and grief to a young child.

    “Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must
    take care of what has been
    given.”

    … the wisdom of the poet, Mary Oliver

    Reply
    • Lisa

      October 9, 2022 at 4:23 pm

      Talking about grief comes easy now. It’s just a part of us.

      Reply
    • Lynn

      November 21, 2022 at 11:44 am

      Your instincts are spot on Kiki. A beautiful story and analogy. I remember this moment. Maybe the best hour spent at Orange Beach

      Reply
      • Lisa

        November 21, 2022 at 3:23 pm

        Will’s military brothers and sisters go above and beyond to take care of his mama!

  2. Rebecka

    October 9, 2022 at 2:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing this precious, teachable moment. You are such a blessing to your family and friends❤️ Love you so much.

    Reply
    • Lisa

      October 9, 2022 at 4:22 pm

      I appreciate your sweet comments. Talking about it prepares us all and I think develop better coping skills.

      Reply

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