Last Updated on March 19, 2023 by Lisa Keys
How to explain grief to a 6 year old.
Not long ago my 6-year-old grand-daughter was scrolling through the photos on my phone. This one caught her eye and she had questions.
Annabelle: “Kiki are you crying in this picture?”
Me: “Yes”
Annabelle: “Why are you crying?”
Is this a teachable moment? Can I prepare her for some day having grief in her life? How to explain grief, this natural occurrence in life, to a 6-year-old? I thought long and hard before answering and in those moments recalled how much Annabelle loves to do jigsaw puzzles. It has always been a fun thing for us to do together. We like challenging puzzles that can take us a while to finish. Here is my Intro to Grief 101class.
Me: “I am crying both happy and sad tears. The boy in the photo is a friend of my son’s and I was happy to meet him for the first time.”
Annabelle: “You mean your son who died?”
Me: “Yes. I get sad some times when I am thinking of him. You know how we like to do puzzles? How would you feel if we spent a really long time putting a puzzle together only to get to the end and find a piece missing?”
Annabelle: “Oh, Kiki that would be bad.”
Me: "Right. Well, it’s like my heart is made up of puzzle pieces. Each piece to my heart is someone I love. But because he died there is a piece that is missing. That is what makes me feel bad and cry. I miss him so much. He would have loved doing puzzles with you.”
Annabelle: “I know. Let's do the llama puzzle."
Rich Beebe
A beautiful way of explaining loss and grief to a young child.
"Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must
take care of what has been
given."
... the wisdom of the poet, Mary Oliver
Lisa
Talking about grief comes easy now. It's just a part of us.
Lynn
Your instincts are spot on Kiki. A beautiful story and analogy. I remember this moment. Maybe the best hour spent at Orange Beach
Lisa
Will's military brothers and sisters go above and beyond to take care of his mama!
Rebecka
Thank you for sharing this precious, teachable moment. You are such a blessing to your family and friends❤️ Love you so much.
Lisa
I appreciate your sweet comments. Talking about it prepares us all and I think develop better coping skills.