Last Updated on October 13, 2025 by Lisa Keys
I came across this lovely grief poem by Nancy Cross Dunham on the Modern Loss Facebook Page. I highly recommend this group for grief support and this for more important grief lessons.
what I'm learning about grief ...
is that it need not be
a heavy gray shawl
to wrap myself in,
clutching my arms tightly
across my chest
nor ...
need it be
a granite rock
that I should try
to push away
neither is it ...
... at least, no longer ...
a vast dark ocean
ready to pick me up
and slap me down
without warning
what I'm learning about grief ...
is that it is not me,
but that it offers
to become a friend
a friend ...
who will lightly lay a hand
on my shoulder
when tears come in the dark
a friend ...
who will laugh
out loud with me
at remembered silly moments
a friend ...
who can still hear
the music of our life
what I'm learning about grief ...
is that this friend
doesn't intend
to leave me
but promises
to hold my hand
to carry my memories
a friend ...
who will bear witness to my love
as I venture
toward the next day
and the following night
cookinformyboys says
Deeply touching 💙
Lisa says
I think so, too. Glad it resonated with you <3
Tracy says
Absolutely beautiful....
Lisa says
hope you are doing well during this difficult time <3
Wendy Liebling says
very beautiful poem, thank you. {{{ virtual hugs }}}
Lisa says
Can’t wait until we hug in person and to think we should be in Sicily right now
Angela@eatlivehappy says
Beautiful Poem.
Lisa says
Always admire the poet who uses so few words to convey so much to the reader
Angela@eatlivehappy says
Me too
Krista says
Beautiful ❤️
Lisa says
Glad you think so, too.
rainbowwayfarms says
So beautiful! ❤️ We love you so much!
Lisa says
Kate is so talented and I am lucky to have you all here. <3
Nancy Cross Dunham says
Lisa, Thanks for sharing my poem with your group. It has meant a lot to me - to write it as well as to have it shared with others. The sharing of it has been most healing to me.
Lisa says
Your writing so beautifully captures what I feel. Thanks for being here.